I've been trying to get more freelance work, and I know I've mentioned to some of you that I landed another job.
So what is the deal with the new freelance gig? Basically I'll be "reviewing" porn. So far it sounds the same as reviewing music. I'll be sent a package of DVDs every week and then I'll be given word counts and categories to write the reviews on. Pay ends up being between $50-200 per article. Now, I really don't have too much experience in watching porn let alone writing about it but I think I'll catch on quickly. I even have a "glossary of terms" to go over.
In high school we would "borrow" VHS copies of really tacky porns from my best friend Ilana's older brother. He kept them in a box in his room. We'd invite our boyfriends over while her mom was at work and we'd have three or four couples sitting around watching this really, really tacky stuff. I remember the day we put in "Good Girls Go Anal 2" and sat on these large couches.

You see, we were pretty crafty gals. We had been going to the mall with our boyfriends all through middle school, and it was high school now, it was time to grow up! Time to get serious! "Have your mom drop off you, we'll watch 'Cum Sluts 5" We thought the whole thing was pretty hilarious. No, you cannot have sex with me, dear sweet fifteen year old boy, but you can watch double penetration on my best friends wide screen tv. I think part of us thought that if we let him see tits on television, he wouldnt check out Jenna's boobs in second period math class.

It seems that in Florida the air conditioning is always on too high and someones erection is always pressing into your back.




So, most of my porn watching was as a teenager in rooms full of other teenagers while we exchanged "ewww!" and "oh come on now" and other thoughts on how we would never let a penis go into our own mouths!! Yes, basically by putting on porn we were tightening our chastity belts.

My other experiences with the moving picture of pornography are also limited. After I started having sex I thought it was completely scandalous for said high school boyfriend to get "porn with a plot" I feel like guys never like these as much but I enjoyed imitating the things the girls did in them and the torrid love stories that could unravel. Yes, long before I read Jenna Jameson, she began to teach me how to make love like a porn star.

I've also joined my peers in watching "One night in Paris" and "Screeched" and as of late I stared blankly at a computer screen while "2 girls 1 cup" played. Has anyone made that song into a cell phone ring yet? I'm down.

My friends have had a few different reactions toward my arrival into the industry of writing about blow jobs-

"are you going to use your real name? do not use your real name"
"can I watch the movies with you?"
"you are going to become so desensitised about sex"
"how could you ever watch that shit?"
"do you get to keep the dvds? can i borrow them?"

We'll see dear friends. I'll let you know how my first view reviews go &if I'll continue supplicating my own income by watching semen drip down someone else's face.